Future Direction?

I am saddened with what had happened to me for the past few weeks. Some are beyond my control, some otherwise. First, I can kiss around USD2,700 of my internet investment goodbye after the Stormpay fiasco. If I ever get that money back, it would be a miracle. Then, it is money problems. As my internet investments went bust, my cashflow became critical. I am desperate to get some funds to settle some bills as I do not have a full-time job. And as for the job-hunting, the job market has not been kind to me. I have expected this as I will be 41 this June and employers would prefer to employ a much younger person, although I have a lot of working experience. As I hate to borrow from my friends and family, I might resort to unorthodox means, like buying 4 digit numbers, to try my luck. Who knows, I might get a windfall. And please forgive me, God. Then, I am having quarrels with my wife over her jewelry that I had pawned to get cash so that I can put it into the internet. At times, she became emotional and I do not blame her. Again, I need to find cash to redeem my wife's jewelry. Time is running short because I have to do so before June as the agreement expires in May. To top off everything, my left eye is giving me some problems. It has a slight swelling and makes me uncomfortable. I hope it will disappear sooner rather than later. I hope to get a job real soon as this will help me with my bills and payments. As for autosurfing, I can still do it part-time. Wish me luck!